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Hello!

And a happy New Year!

We arrived back from New York just in time to get home and get snowed in. Oh boy, England can't cope with snow. In New York, the moment it stops snowing, everyone gets out their shovels and yard-brushes and gets the snow off the pavement - shovel first, brush after to prevent tiny (but lethal) patches of ice. So all the sidewalks are safe to walk on and you can get to the grocery store without braining, bruising or breaking yourself. People in the country do the same - they dig/shovel/sweep a path from the house to the car and/or the house to the road so the postman can deliver post without harming himself. It's so simple. Here? Huh! You really would think that shovels and brushes had been banned by the Government on grounds of Health & Safety, as there's so little evidence that people use them. (People could trip on their brushes and step on their shovels, I suppose, causing untold physical damage and emotional trauma...) Storekeepers in particular need their heads cracked together - I nearly cracked my own head open slipping on the ice OUTSIDE THE DOOR of the Co-op... Take me back to the USA!

New York was truly a blast. It was lovely to be back at 59E59, at what seemed to be an extended LAMDA reunion. LAMDA (London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art) was where I studied acting. So there was me with FA in the charismatically-named Theatre A, Nichola McAuliffe with her play, A British Subject, in the equally charismatically named Theatre B and, continuing the charisma seamlessly on down the alphabet, Simon Green with his cabaret in Theatre C. All ex-LAMDA, all circa 1976-77-ish. We all spent Christmas together, and had a marvellous time.

Our reviews were almost unanimously excellent. I say 'almost' - we got one absolute stinker, but one got the impression he'd never have enjoyed that type of show anyhow, and he was entitled to his ill-humour. We tweaked the show almost daily - my utterly brilliant friend Carl Ritchie (also ex-LAMDA!) re-wrote TESCO SAVES as WALMART SAVES - it was the big hit of the show, hurrah. HEALTH & SAFETY mystified them, in spite of rewrites - then I suddenly realised that almost all middle-class Americans willingly post their children off for a spell each summer to camp, there to break their heads open kayaking, white-water rafting, and generally exposing themselves to clear and present danger. And whilst they laughed obligingly at the jokes, the song seemed a little stuck. So we cut it and replaced it with SHATTERED ILLUSIONS which was a terrific decision.

And, with huge doubt in my heart, I essayed DOGGING on the first night. This was because all the staff at the theatre (yes, Americans) had heard the song on CD and loved it, and encouraged me to do it. I think if I say it was received in mystified silence, that would be an accurate response. So I replaced it next night with MUCH MORE MARRIED which I had secretly been rehearsing at home, because I had a very strong feeling that DOGGING was not the right song. Dogging, as a practice, has started to take off in the States, according to my research, but it is not well-known, and so they didn't really understand the song.

Oh yes, it's all just a question of getting the cultural references right. So easy, in hindsight!

Other than that, everything was hunky dory. Our apartment was wee but very modern and clean as a whistle and, best of all, on Bleecker Street which is the coolest street in New York. Our producers done us proud, getting us that apartment. But I can honestly say we had a wonderful time - we didn't make a lot of money - well, you don't in a 200-seater in three and a half weeks, but we survived pretty well. And if anyone asks us back, we'll be at Heathrow like a shot...

May 2010 bring you all you want, and once again, a Happy and Safe New Year!

Dillie

Now that we’ve done the second tour, we are thrilled to announce that we have raised a total of £37,803 for our two charities, Combat Stress and Help For Heroes.

The sums have been divided thus:
Combat Stress - £19,508
Help For Heroes - £18,295

This may seem a bit random but it just depends which bank is handiest when it is banking time!

For the record, we also collected:

• €32.73 (exchanged by me at rate £1=€1 and added in to the final total)
• $1.63 (also exchanged by me at rate £1=$1 and added in to the final total)
• 3 old 50p pieces
• 2½p pieces
• 5 French Francs
• 2 Rupees (India)
• 25 Centavos (Ecuador)
• 5 Kopeks (Poland, I think)
• 6 Cents (Canada)
• 6d pre-decimal Sterling
• 52 Cents (Australia)
• 20 Cents (New Zealand)
• 2 Dubai wotsits
• 2 Cents (Malta)
• 5 Cents (Fiji)
• 1 Cent (Oman)
• 10 Krone (Denmark)
• 60 Cents (Switzerland)
• 1 Jurassic Park token
• 1 Center Parcs token
• 2 completely unidentifiable coins
• 1 button

The various coins will be put into a general charity box.

We’d like to thank the audiences for their incredible generosity. It would be utterly invidious to list the amounts raised at the individual venues – and we don’t always manage to get all the exits covered so not all the audience always sees a bucket. However, I think it wouldn’t be out of place to say that the audience of Truro gave an astonishing £1.55 per head which was absolutely astounding. TRURO ROCKS!

And we will be going on collecting for these charities when we do the next tour in the spring.

For more information about these charities, please click the logos below to visit their websites: